Theodore Roosevelt once said, “It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed.” Sometimes when life gets hard, one might want to give up or give in. It is better to work hard and try to reach your goal.

When I was little, my mother realized there was something wrong.  I was not speaking nor was I responding to sounds. She took me to many different doctors, audiologists, and speech pathologists. They all told her I had Attention Deficit Disorder and she was just worried over nothing. Months went by and no improvements were made. I went for more testing, and still they told her nothing was wrong. My mother did not stop there.  She brought me to be tested by the school district.  They were the first ones to tell her I was hearing impaired. We returned to the clinics I was at before, and within minutes they agreed with the diagnosis. They told her I would never function in the hearing world and I would never speak.  

My mother was devastated, not just because I was hearing impaired, but because she was just finding this out when I was already three years old. The doctors started talking about hearing aids, schools for the deaf, and sign language. For years my mother would take me to speech pathologists so I could learn how to pronounce sounds and how to talk. She was determined that I would prove everyone wrong.

Not long after, I started pre-school. My first year I was in a predominantly deaf and signing class, where I was one out of three hearing impaired students. I was not learning language and I was most certainly not socializing with children who were in the oral world. My mother was prepared to do anything, even if it meant moving to a deaf community. But she had faith in me and my family still believed I could overcome the obstacle of a hearing impairment. Friends sent books and tapes to help me learn, and my family started to learn sign.

Before we knew it I was entering my second year of pre-school. My mom placed me into a language delayed class with kids who spoke. The school system did not agree with the switch in classes because they would lose funding if I was not in a deaf class. They even threatened legal action, but my mom did not care. I attended the language delayed class for half a day, and the other half I went to a normal pre-school. I was just fine!  I remember loving pre-school where nobody cared that I was different and no one knew the difference.

When I went to kindergarten with all new students, it was definitely a different experience. I remember having trouble interacting with the kids in my class; I was not the most social person in the group. The first few days were tough and I went home and cried. I felt scared and lonely. It was the first time I ever felt different. I did not feel like I was having trouble hearing. I was different because people were asking about my hearing aids and I had to answer the questions alone. This was the beginning of my learning how to accept my hearing impairment as part of who I am. Fortunately, my older brother came to the rescue. By that time he was an expert at socializing. He taught me how to introduce myself to people and how to make conversation. By the next day of school, I was the coolest kid on the block.

But that was not the only problem I faced in kindergarten. People always asked what those “things” in my ears were, and never seemed to understand when I told them, or were never truly interested.  It seemed they always made a point to make me feel different. Ever since I was little I’ve felt the world was against me, and at times the odds were not in my favor. Now that I’ve matured I realize they were not asking about those “things” in my ears to make fun of me, but because they wanted to learn and understand what I was going through.

When I was younger I was very self-conscious, because I felt people were constantly staring at my ears. I was afraid to show my ears and would do anything to hide them. I would always wear my hair long and rarely put it up into a ponytail, unless I was having a bad hair day.

To make matters worse, my hearing was not the only thing about me that was different. I was always tall for my age, and it was not until high school that I met any girls who were as tall as me. I also was the only one in my class with red hair.  I always loved my hair, but sometimes I felt I stuck out too much. If I had been a brunette I could have blended in more. It was not until seventh grade when I began to slowly comprehend that being different was not always a bad thing.

Sometimes when I was younger I was confused about where I stood in the world, especially during the hard times, and I would wonder “why me”.  Why do I have to have the hearing impairment, why was I the “chosen one”? Now I look back and realize I was truly lucky to be able to overcome my disability. Having to overcome so many obstacles has allowed me to develop a greater and better understanding of life. I am able to adapt to different situations quickly and efficiently.

Now as a sixteen year old girl, I can tell you first hand that standing out is actually a big advantage. Among my friends I am respected for being me and my hearing impairment often goes unnoticed. Sometimes my friends forget I am hearing impaired, which can be a relief. I still get asked about my hearing aids, but after years of experience I have mastered my response.  However, it definitely took a very long time for me to become comfortable with myself.  

Some people say I’m a success story, but I disagree. If it were not for my family, especially my mother, I would not have been able to overcome all the obstacles that have come my way. I realize there are plenty of problems I will face as I grow older, but I know they won’t compare to the hardships I’ve already overcome. One of the things I love to say is that the hearing impairment is a part of my life, but it does not control my life.  Feeling all alone is an awful experience, and I want to let all those children who believe no one understands what they are going through, that I understand.

I would like to start a program where children with a hearing impairment can ask me advice about the social problems they face.   Creating a confidential webpage provides an opportunity for these students to open up and express feelings which are unique and much different from their hearing peers.  I could respond to them and offer personal insights and advice from the perspective of a hearing impaired teen.  There have been times I would have appreciated someone to speak with who could have related to the hardships I experienced.  That is what I want to provide for these children. Further information is available at www.hearshelp.com or by contacting me at Hearshelp@yahoo.com.